Sunday, October 7, 2007

Final Thoughts

I am working on one wrap-up piece that should be up within the next week or so.

Well, so much for that timeframe! (on the other hand, I do have all the photos uploaded to my picasa site, sorted into albums and captioned where appropriate) But here it is.

The World According to the Chinese.

  • There is no part of the animal that the Chinese will not eat
  • When eating meat, put the whole chunk into your mouth, and spit out the things that don't chew very well.
  • There is no dish that cannot be garnished by shallots.
  • Lettuce is to be cooked, not eaten raw.
  • McDonalds and KFC are almost the same the world over.
  • When you drink, you have to get as drunk as you can, as quick as you can.

Construction Techniques
  • A structure built out of concrete and steel can be made to look as if it were built out of almost any other material.
  • (esp. Landscaping and paving, but also applies to others) "Sir, I have finished my task":"How many times have you done this task?":"Twice, sir":"That is not enough. Rip it up and do it again"

  • If you don't have a photograph, then it didn't happen.
  • When having your photograph taken, it is mandatory to give the 'V for Victory' sign. It doesn't matter if you're 3 or 90.

  • The motorcycle is a family vehicle.
  • The dump truck is a family vehicle.
  • Road markings and street signs (including traffic lights) are merely suggestions.

Judicial System
  • "To win a case, you have to give the judge a lot of money".

  • It is always a good time to go to the beach - Winter, Summer, night-time, raining, whatever.
  • In the Summer time, always carry an umbrella with you. It is used as shelter from both the sun and the rain - and there's plenty of both!
  • Street performers don't mind when you grab them for a photograph, even in the middle of their performance.
  • You have to do anything your boss tells you to. Even if this contradicts other things (s)he has told you, or common sense, or even the law.

Also, some other things I learned:
  • I can now tell the difference between a hunk of potato and a hunk of ginger, even if they're covered in the same "gravy".
  • How to shit standing up (actually this is totally untrue - I managed to go 8 months without using a Chinese style, hole-in-the-floor, crapper!).
  • Pedestrian overpasses in heavily traficked areas are a good thing!
  • The Chinese are extremely heirarchical. Everyone has no respect for (and treats like dirt) anyone below them, and everyone is scared shitless of anyone above them (because they get no respect, and are treated like dirt).

There were a couple of others, but I forget them now. You'll just have to trust me that they were just as informative and entertaining as the ones you've just read.

I am looking into the possibility of going back to China (although not with the same company - I will NEVER work for them again) for 2 weeks over the Christmas holidays this year, which should be a much better experience. If that happens, I'll be sure to start up this weblog again. Otherwise this site will pretty much lay dormant until the next time I travel for pipe band drumming.
Until then, join a pipe band, and see the world!
Thanks for reading.

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